# 002> There Is Always A Connection...ALWAYS!

How is Tha JR connected to a picture of the Himalayas he asks.

Well,lets start with the Himalayas. Dmitri Petkov, 46 years of age is taking a picture of it. Dmitri has had quite a rocky relationship with his wife, incidences of infidelity have led the wife to doubting every single story Dmitri comes up with. Being a photographer isn't exactly the best kinda job for a married man..especially in Russia. Allusions of espionage and treason tend to make people be very weary of your presence. The rife insecurity that came with the job forced Dmitri to look for something simpler. His wife thought all his "investigative ventures" were just a front for infidelity so, good thing he decided to give up that ghost.

A move to Tibet seems to be a neutral ground for this guy. Away from people, doing his damndest to get by through photography. Thoughts of taking phots of exotic people, presidential rallies and etc that would definitely earn him big bucks drives him day in day out.This, unfortunately doesn't bear fruit. Months of no direction makes him settle for the least. He decides to take a photo of the Himalayas and sell it to a local printing company that makes books in the UK. He makers a pittance for the photo but the print company guys tellhim if he keeps taking more and more he shall start making some real money.

Mr. Solvidorch (not spelt but pronounced like this), who is secretly gay has  developed  acrush on Andreas, who works in the printing department. Everyone knows that he is gay and yet he believes that no one knows. He looks for flimsy reasons for going down to the printing room so as to get a whiff of Andreas' cologne. It's not really cologne but the fragrance of a soap he actually makes himself at home. Andreas was born to a family of innovators. Always ready to fend for themselves incase shit hits the fan. His bi-polar nature led him to Nepal. He believed that Buddhism was his calling but after a few weeks of harsh training and endurance his spitit gave in and now in  aforeign conutry and no help, his innovation kicks in. He started making the soap and selling it in ordert o make ends meet. It's nothing fancy really, just soap that smels nice. It wasn't that popular, unfortunately, because peeps on that side of earth don't shower frequently. He should have thought about that coming from hot South America to cold ass Nepal! Dumb ass! So, finally, he got a gig at the printing company, how hard could it be? Mr. Solvidorch is his supervisor. Anytime he sees Andreas' broad shoulders, Justin Timberlake facial hair as well as this gait he has about him, always leaning as if he wants to whisper in your ear...and the moment you come closer to him...mmmmh!!!!that scent! Who knew cheaply made soap smells so good?

He had made a habiot of coming down to the noisy printing booth to "check up' on the workers. On this cold Wednesday afternoon, he called up Andreas to his office. Andreas' was having quite a good day so teh smile on his face as he walked into the office. Imagine what that smile did to Mr. Solvidorch given the fact that employees, or rather those under him (did you catch that pun?) NEVER smile when they see him. He was overwhelmed by raw sexyual emotion only compared remotely to that of spider monkeys. Must be the cold in Nepal. He pulls out Dmitri's picture and asks Andreas to ensure that the prits are awesome. "Like the photo" he tells Andreas while looking him square in the eye. He actually said in his head: "..as awesome as what i behold right now!" but hey! Andreas complies and takes it downstairs. Mr. Solvidorch watches keenly as he walks away and downstairs, his firm buttocks moving up, down, up, down, up, down, sdown, up, stop....turn. Mr. Solvidorch looks away. Andreas keeps walking. Back to the action. This is enough for Mr. Solvidorch. "One day, one day, i'll make my move!" he says. Picture is printed into the booklets.

Booklets shipped off to the UK, destination; MacMillan Publishers. They want an awesome phot of Asia for their new Atlas. Mr. Drake Mosby, the current head of print is determinedto make it the best atlas in the history of atlases (yeah, there are people who give a fuck about things like those). An underachiever all his life, this is Drake's opportunity to impress and leave a mark in this world. The picture comes through. Awesome like the photographer's drive, like Mr. Solvidorch's denial, like Andreas' rear in his favorite pair of Lee Denim jeans that are too tight as well as too dirty. Thank God for that soap, he might otherwise be mistaken for a bum (more pun!) 

So Drake works like a slave and makes sure that it is of highest quality. The atlases are printed with he best quality paper, ink etc. Drake, in his eagerness to overimpress decided to purchase the most expensive of machinery so as to give a great product. He figures that it will pay off in the quadruple sales of atlases ( a feat never achieved before by the way). The result, the best fuckin atlas you have ever seen. Only problem is that it now has to be sold at a  slightly higher price than regular atlases. People like to look at it but then why pay so much more money for the sam eshit. Pointless, innit? Well, those parents who really want to impress their children , themselves, or actuallyy beileve that a revised edition book will actually help your kid out (Malkiat Singh actually constructed a fucking palace in Kenya from this shit! Did you invite him for your party when you scored more in G.H.C?)

Ship off the atlases all over the world.

Over in the 254, Tha JR's parents, worried about his future in school, all these bad influences, not to mention Channel O making these hoez dress up like fuckin Lil Kim and shit! 8-4-4 is a muthfucka so if you ain't in a private school (like yours truly) then you are downest like a househelps's petticoat (you see, its sounds so much better in sheng' innit?). So as far as his Geography is concerned lets get him the BEST! So, this warm January morning, liitle JR is going to class 5 tomorrow. The anticipation is eating at him. Like you, he always makes this promise that: "This year, i am gonna work extra hard and become number 1" (like anyone really gives a fuck! They don't. They really don't. Atlas from Macmillan Publishers! That's the one little JR will love!! It wuill help him know more about a world he may or may not EVER get to explore (but hey, never say never). Next morning, in class as they present their books in front of tehir desks coz 8-4-4 teachers are dicks like that. I secretly believe that teachers do this in order to steal some shit for their kids coz they too broke to buy them. Blame our government for that. A joyous JR displays his key to success which catches the eye of George Mwanzia a.k.a Georgie a.k.a badd ass, 1st body etc. He jacks it at break time. JR cries his little ass off as he ramages through his desk and bag over and over. Nallus!

A disappointed JR will now not make it college coz his precious super smartness-inducing atlas. Oh well, the polytechnic ain't too bad (no offense). So, from Dmitri to Andreas to Drake to the folks to JR to Georgie. See? Always a connection!

Live music, love life!